Hiei came to visit last Friday, and he has been staying here since. I'm afraid I didn't give him a decent welcome. However, that is no longer an issue. He forced me to listen to him and, as usual, his words were insightful.
Hiei is correct. I cannot keep living like I have been. I chose to put myself in that situation, knowing what would happen. I refuse to take that as defeat, no matter what.